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Okay devs, name that templating language.... https://x.com/rrosso/status/948886236407717888

Remember insult generators we coded as kids? The State Departments has an urgent need for developers to write nation state quality insult generators, check USAJobs for details.

Motel 6's new slogan: We leave the light on so we can search your room for INS, IRS and DEA violations. We're you're one stop, bed-top-to-cop conveyer belt. When you're staying with Motel 6, we don't need no stinkin' warrant.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2018/01/03/motel-6-gave-guest-lists-to-ice-agents-looking-for-latino-sounding-names-lawsuit-alleges/?hpid=hp_rhp-more-top-stories_pn-motel6-1040pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

We ought to elect Jeff Bezos. He hits a button and we all get consumer electronics delivered to our doors.

Or, as this non-meterologist calls it after a bit of googling, "a winter hurricane with snow instead of rain" https://x.com/washingtonpost/status/948308728327168001

META: if you make a mistake in a tweet

┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
serve neither skim nor 2%, but TLJ green or ANH blue.
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔

It is the season to go ice skating on a data lake. Afterwords, warm up with some data latkes. You can buy some skates at the data mart.

AWS Step functions & the general idea of "serverless" architectures was the most valuable thing I learned this holiday season. https://x.com/mistersql/status/945396125154136069

re: 11 nines of reliability... I think the real limit of reliability stats converges on the odds of the collapse of civilization. (much more than 1-0.99999999999) If widespread war engulfs the US, your files in AWS glacier are toast or inaccessible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZpLNgFEWBo

KATA: Change all 0s in numbers to T, G, M, K as appropriate so that
2018 -> 2K18
5,000,042 -> 5M42
1492 -> 1492

They forgot twitter & FB addiction. https://x.com/TechEdO/status/947623191056404480

LIFEHACK: You got one of those !@#$ window air conditioners? With the cold wind, if you don't cover them, it acts like a completely open window. I just taped mine up with masking tape & newspaper.

Wishing you a happy 2018 in JavaScript

next_year = new Date(2018,1,1,1,1,1,1)
next_year.getYear = function (){return "Happy"}
next_year.getYear()

I'll wait patiently while 10000s of people retract their "NASA spending $$$ on a space pen is stupid big gov't waste & the pencil wielding cosmonauts is smart" comments https://x.com/Serris/status/947414159808978944

So in programing, the basic types are strings, integers, floats & DC Metro floats, which is a positive float that is replaced by another, hidden float of any sign after you subtract a value >= itself. This is implemented with operator overriding. https://x.com/alex_block/status/946478725041975296

2018 Goals. https://x.com/AMNH/status/946768357239508993

Swatting would stop if:
1) Unauthenticated swat calls were treated differently
2) If Swatting carried same penalties as attempted murder, which is what they are.
3) If cops ever faced consequences for anything ever

Back in XAML days, Charles Petzold joked we'd write C# if-blocks in XML & we laughed & laughed.

This is a Java if block in JSON as implemented in AWS step functions. Who's laughing now?

Yeah, right, me at least. https://x.com/mistersql/status/947187592600186880/photo/1

IDEA: Civil war is modern trial by combat.

A false SWAT/911 call gives the police the authority to shoot anyone they want, converting the cops into a free, anonymous hit man service that doesn't even apologize, in fact they pat themselves on the back for it.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/12/29/a-police-officer-fatally-shot-a-man-while-responding-to-an-emergency-call-now-called-a-swatting-prank/

BB8 kills General Leia in a humourous, but dark, accident #TLJ

A few more minutes and TLJ spoilers won't hurt me.

Pizza Vesuvio https://x.com/stillconor/status/946792703014133761

Those ABX aren't going to do anything for the DC cough, but they might eventually give you ABX resistant clostridium difficile...choices choices https://x.com/CDCgov/status/946425579468984320

Disappointed that I'm 3 episodes into Westworld

No code
No random forests
No scrum meetings

MoviePass is selling money at a discount & attempting to make up the difference by selling info about who purchased what. This is a crazy business model.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/27/business/media/moviepass-theaters-tickets.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

So if I get this right, me with $12K of state & RE taxes & an tax rate of 25%, would at most get $2000*0.25, ($500) of benefit by prepaying county RE taxes. (Or do I use my effective rate, which was 12%?)

Prepay Montgomery Co taxes:

Fiction. In the real world, too many tamales doesn't happen. https://x.com/anotarian/status/945371636223676417

For a distributed workflow that supports start->cancel/finish

The derailment was a collective failure "partly the individual failure of an engineer who was going much too fast. It was also, however, yet another demonstration of this country’s collective, continuing failure to invest in infrastructure."

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/24/opinion/amtrak-derailment-seattle.html?mabReward=S3ALS1&recid=0yEDhEkyR56zAQzCTqsb87ESZgq&recp=8&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&region=CColumn&module=Recommendation&src=rechp&WT.nav=RecEngine&_r=0

Google assistant has no name, like she's just property or something. When the robots become conscious, they will remember this slight.

Gift idea for white elephants parties https://x.com/mistersql/status/945051718450077696/photo/1

Top 3 accomplishments for 2017

✅ Shipped v2 of main app
✅ Got old condo ready to rent
✅ Taught son how to type
✅ Made a base 0 dad joke.

Trivago says there are *lots* of hotels rooms open in Bethlehem tonight, many at good prices. I don't see any option to find one with a birth center as an amenity, major oversight. https://www.trivago.com/?aDateRange%5Barr%5D=2018-01-04&aDateRange%5Bdep%5D=2018-01-05&aPriceRange%5Bfrom%5D=0&aPriceRange%5Bto%5D=0&iPathId=559106&aGeoCode%5Blat%5D=32.736626&aGeoCode%5Blng%5D=35.191311&iGeoDistanceItem=0&aCategoryRange=0%2C1%2C2%2C3%2C4%2C5&aOverallLiking=1%2C2%2C3%2C4%2C5&sOrderBy=relevance%20desc&bTopDealsOnly=false&iRoomType=7&cpt=55910603&iIncludeAll=0&iViewType=0&bIsSeoPage=false&bIsSitemap=false&

Wells Fargo, stop posting ads targeted at me. The only thing I want for Wells Fargo is for it to be nationalized without compensation and shut down. That company is a threat to the continuation democracy.

Democracy can't survive large companies looting the treasury.

Don't forget to visit https://isitchristmas.com/ and chat with people in the JavaScript console.

The economist in me looks at these numbers and makes me think that the economically rational company should stop investing in anything but lobbyists to create tax windfalls or direct subsidies. With returns like this, investing in mere equipment or staffing is self sabotage. https://x.com/Brasilmagic/status/944578629899636736