How to prepare the Turkey. If you find a turkey on your counter, first check for a pulse. If none, proceed to autopsy, checking for blunt trauma and any clues to what happened. Having completed the autopsy, get a linen to wrap the corpse. If the deceased was family, a casket is more appropriate, you don't want to look like a cheapskate. Dig a hole in your back yard about 2 feet across and 3 feet down in the back yard. Say a few words and then it's done.
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November 23, 2023