IDEA: postcard pypi. You distribute your app on the corkboard at the local library on a spool of DVDs. The user takes one and sends a postcard and SASE to each of the maintainers of each dependent library. If they like the postcard, they send you a floppy, DVD or USB keychain with the code. Once the user has everything, they copy all the files to site-packages.
(In the NPM version, each maintainer sends a postcard & SASE to each of their dependencies and so on.)