IDEA: fuzzy story points. This ticket is (1,3,8). Oh s$-t, they're all (1,3,8) triangular fuzzy numbers.
Burn down is just the sum of all fuzzy numbers divided by the the fuzzy number of staff times the fuzzy ratio of time to points. Calculate the centroid (an average of the resulting 2d shape) and voilà! It will be done sometime between tomorrow and our natural death.
Really, I just want an excuse to put to use philosophy of epistemology during sprint planning.